mwiings

Hello World!

I am working on being more productive offline and so far I do have my first fantasy novel (first fantasy anything really, always thought of myself as a "literary" writer) plotted out, (another first coz I usually just work by inspiration) but actually writing it out is ....an experience. Events not in the plot come up and feel like they belong so I leave them in and I wonder how long the editing process will be... and due to certain themes I am not sure it will be YA when I am done... seems an adult novel... no romance but there is a sex element going on... some violence of course... we'll see as the pages turn.

Oh... and in December I am going to Japan for two weeks.  Its something I have dreamt of for years and put off coz I am such a "practical person" but you only live once and I need to do something so entirely selfish that it knocks something about in my heart.

Anywho, back to the daily grind.

I have missed DA.

There are different versions of that saying out there and depending on your own personal headspace you can either "buy it" or not. The choice is yours though and that is a wonderful luxury.

I have so much more than some people, and a lot less than other people, so if i choose to be miserable about it, all i do is make myself miserable.

So, to anyone else who also is having trouble dealing with life, it could get a lot worse and if it cant then everything else has to be better,

Still searching for my voice.

But life keeps getting in the damn way.

Heller ladies and gents!

I have neglected you greatly and apologise profusely. I am not sure telling you why would help (not to mention, there's a high likelihood that you arent that bothered and I have an inflated view of myself than even the internet gives me the luxury to believe...

BUT I found myself lost again, hiding behind stacks of paperwork (that I do not enjoy, I am a pretty mean (as in efficient) administrator and bloody good organiser but it really doesnt get my blood rushing). Very little about my day to day has made my blood rush. I have realised though that being "just" a writer isnt enough for me. I want to do more than that but how the hell does that happen when I barely have enough time to write!?!

"Make time! STORIES MAKE ME HAPPY, STORIES give meaning to the world. I feel that in my bones and I want to share not just mine but other people's stories too." Thats what I ehar in my head when I nod off but have been too tired to do anything productive, anyone else get that?

The other day I cleared my "digital bookshelf" and saw two attempts at NaNoWriMo that i didnt even come close to finishing and that made me sad because I'm really good at making excuses, not as good at it as administrating though... Anywho... I shall give some attention to this sorely abandoned page and slowly make my way through the blogs in my google reader that my lack of internet time has accumulated and eventually comment on the lovely work that makes up the DeviantArt community. Y'all are awesome people.

This morose period will not last. I will get over it and when I do I shall share the joy!

For now, off to find that better version of myself.

Happy New Year to one and all and to all, a year that blows the new year's celebration (or lack thereof) out of the freakin' water!!

So,  while a new year's resolution post would be pertinent (if a little late), I am not entirely sure I want to promise myself i shall become something i am not simply because the timing suggests its the right thing to do... plus i have never made resolutions before. i have made goals and usually stick to them.

My birthday is soon and sometimes i think i no where near where i hoped i would be at my age and at other times i am simply thankful that i am not a lot worse off than i could be.

So, here's hoping 2012 has kinder lessons and sweet truths!

I have no idea where that phrase is from but i know it isnt mine: "Hope, Skip and Jump". but i like the way it sounds.

So on a personal front i am no closer to self discovery than i was a year ago but i am more at peace with my lack of knowledge and still striving for more. i am less emotionally tired but i still sometimes get the itch in my soul that tells me i am o the wrong path and i best get off it soon.

i have decided further learning is a must coz i'll probably kill myself staying where i am, i cut off my hair coz i didnt like it the way it was and am now eyeing red dye which isnt such a bold move for most but it is for me coz i always have my braids carrying my colour and not my hair itself.

on the plus side, i have amazing friends who make my days all the more brighter and my lovely, lovely "better" half keeps me on my toes and still makes my heart skip a beat (even though i still forget our anniversary some days, like right now, i dont know when it is.. it'll come to me later tonight or sometime during the weekend i imagine). my siblings are simply "aces"! even though my sisters steal my jewellry with smiles on their faces and my brother is an ogre to live with.

anywho, i am in a better place and i'm milking the positive emotions.

Anyone doing nanowrimo this year? is it going well for U fo far? i am yet to win a year at it.

My internet is still atrocious at work and i need to get myself a smart phone so i can go online without any hassles at my leisure. can U say "lack of sleep?"